Chaos: is this what my life has become?

My dad always told me that I would get kidney failure if I didn’t go to the toilet regularly.

There are some days I have absolutely no idea how I will get to take two minutes and go for a wee. When I settle one baby down, the other one starts. I know I should let them just cry but that would mean she wakes her sister. Plus the cries are heartbreaking (I say “heartbreaking” because I think that is what I am meant to feel but really it is just annoying).

I crave having a routine again. The only glimpse of a routine I have right now is to know roughly when the girls are going to wake in the morning based on when they were put to bed after their night feed. I know I need to lay out two nappies, wipes, two vests, two babygrows/outfits, I need to make myself a coffee (which will be cold by the time I finally sit down with one baby) and ideally get something to eat (this sometimes doesn’t happen until 3pm).

I am the sort of person who needs to be organised and in a routine. So the fact my home is utter chaos with blankets, books, toys and parts of the pram scattered all over my living room is not ideal.

Will I ever get a routine again? I really hope so. In the mean time, I’m going to try and tiptoe to the bathroom before one of the babies wakes the other.


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